That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
