We won't sleep together?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
