yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
