Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
