This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You ate ashes out of my bong
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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