I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
cat food counts as protein by the way
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
