Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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