life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
we're chasing vodka with high fives
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
