I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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