I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
