I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
