He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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