I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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