I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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