I love black thongs
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
this boner is exhausting
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You brought string cheese to the strip club
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
