You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
