I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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