this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
