How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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