As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
