Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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