God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
