Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I think your dad took our porno
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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