I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
