dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
