I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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