you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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