Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
