In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
