just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
