fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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