I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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