Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
