we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
