i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
