i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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