Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
