You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
