I wish I could teleport
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
