so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
we made out on top of his cat.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
