i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize