On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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