When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
