I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
