So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Randomize
