dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
