I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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