I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
