I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
