4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
