do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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