I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
