Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
