if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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