I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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