What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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